S4 One Shot - I won't ever let you go
by Comaupcakes
Summary: A season 4 one shot. Inspired by the song Photograph By Ed Sheeran and the events in 4x01. (The grave scene) A quick tale of how the strong can break. Its in living the nightmare that Oliver finds truth and resolve. Once they give in to their perceived weakness do they flourish and go on to fight another day.


An Olicity Season 4 one shot based off 4x01 with lots of canon details and some of my own - inspired by Photograph by Ed Sheeran

I do not own the characters or the canon story of CW's Arrow(TV Series 2012). But everything else is mine :)

**All italics are flashbacks**

Enjoy

It's been one month to the date and seven since he and Felicity had moved back to what is now Star City and a whirlwind of things has gone down since. At the back of his mind, Oliver had walked around with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach for these past seven months (not a literal one, though it felt pretty much the same) that things were not going to last; that his happiness would be taken away from him. He has just been waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak, never voicing his worry.

A memory of their first fight flashed in his mind as he sits on their couch in their living room surrounded by their stuff (Photos of them on display with smiles so wide and bright. That was a different time in their life, a part of him does wish they never came back, but the other part knows they needed to.) Oliver remembers feeling uncertain, not in his love but in his place. It's no easy task falling in love with someone who is both different and similar to you at the same time. But they both realised they are complimentary to each other. Those days leading up to that fight were some of the most confusing yet most clarifying days. Their roles were reversed and it was Felicity pushing him away and burying herself in guilt. Oliver should have known better. He realises now he swam in that ocean of guilt for years. He bore the weight of his actions and its consequences for such a long time that when he had met John and Felicity they had slowly been helping him lift the weight off himself.

He realised that not everything was his fault. That day was a clear role reversal for them. He had finally felt what Felicity and John had felt every time he pushed them away. He always told himself he was doing it for their protection, but a part of him knows he did it for his own protection too. Oliver had his own deep seated fears. Why were these two people there, helping him? What did he ever do to deserve their unwavering support. It took him a long time, the better part of 3 years to realise that it was more than just surface stuff that kept them together. They were family from the moment they walked into each other's lives. Destined to be a part of each other's life and destined to make a change in the world they live in, for themselves and for those to come in the future. They all made the other better. Between him and Felicity though, it was an even deeper connection; one that stemmed from the soul. There was no rhyme or reason as to why they worked but there was heart. They simply just loved each other and it was effortless and meaningful. It was the kind of love that completes you, the kind that makes you better than who you were before. It was all encompassing and forever. It is the kind of love where just a touch would calm every fibre of one's being, because being together made sense. Loving each other made sense. As if they were made for each other. Maybe they were….

" _Mom! Can I go now? Please!" Pleaded a young dark haired girl_

" _Honey…C'mon now. I know you'd rather be stuck in your room, but that's not healthy.." replied her mother._

" _Healthy? And this place is? The young girl asked incredulously_

" _Look I just think you need to get out more and socialise…you can't keep hiding away" Her mother reasoned_

" _I'm not hiding mom. I like it in my room and I'm plenty social online" retorted the girl with pleading eyes_

" _Yes online, but not out here in the real world…" her mother challenged_

" _You think this is the real world? A casino?" the girl asked in a tone befitting amusement_

" _No, it's not but I couldn't get off work so this casino is the best I could do and it's plenty social in here…just look there, see those two young gentlemen? The blonde one has looked your way about 6 times in the last 10 minutes! Go speak to him, make friends!" her mother responded drly at first but bounced back with a contagious happy smile_

" _Mom! No! He looks way older than me!" she said slightly horrified as she turned her stool around 360 degrees back toward her mom. As she did, her eyes scanned the crowd and caught sight of a young blonde man watching her. Truth be told, she couldn't see him all that clearly, she was probably due for a new prescription. Her eyes locked with him for a second before she continued spinning around. On her second turn she had looked his way to see him chatting to his brown haired friend who stood at his side gesticulating and talking busily as the blonde guy just nodded._

" _Friends baby doll. Make friends, not a boyfriend!" her mother cautioned_

" _I don't need friends. I need my computer and my room. Right now that's what makes me happy" the girl said pouting her lips_

" _Does it really?" her mother questioned softly_

" _Yes! It does…" she said with a bitter sweet sensation rolling around her tongue_

" _Okay then…go" her mother said happily_

" _Seriously?" She quirked up curiously_

" _Yes" she chuckled "I only want you to be happy…I'll see you later"_

" _Thanks mom" she said kissing her mom on the cheek and turning to leave. The girl very slyly sneaked a quick look at the mysterious blonde and when she did, she caught him watching her again. "What the …?" This threw her off, why was that guy looking at her at all…and like that. Choosing to rather forget because let's face it, he could very well have been looking at her mother; she ducked her head down, grabbed her sling bag and made her way out of the exit door. As she walked out she gave the bellhop a small wave and a tiny smile._

" _See you again Felicity, straight home okay!" he joked with a smile._

 _Felicity pulled her hoodie up over her head and made her way through the crowded front entrance toward the bus stop as the bright afternoon skylight shone above her._

 _*******On the other side of the floor************_

" _Yo man! Are you even listening to me?! Earth to…" The brown hair guy questioned while waving his hand in front of his blonde friend's face_

" _Yeah I am; you said something about the table's right?" the blonde guy lied_

" _No, I was saying this place is going to go down in history for us, memories we won't forget! C'mon! I want to play at every table!" The brown haired friend said stepping around him and turning around spinning on his heel taking in the view of the casino floor._

" _Okay, okay slow down, we have all weekend" the blonde said slightly unfazed by his friends excitement._

" _Okay, you're right…what are you staring at?" following his friends eyes to the dark haired young girl sitting at the corner of a juice bar talking to a hot blonde older woman. "That girl is waaayyy too young man…or is it the older hot blonde you're staring at…coz she's waayyy older….but I can get behind that. Not the young girl…who is too young to be in a casino anyway!" he said watching his friend intently and realising it was the young girl that had his attention "Maybe in a few years huh?" he said hitting his friend on the back "If it's meant to be and all"_

" _What?! No, I was just….she just….she looks familiar is all" the blonde guy said frazzled by his friends words_

" _Yeah and I look at all people I think I may know like that" the brown haired guy joked_

" _Like what?" asked the blonde_

" _Like you've just seen Jesus" joked the brown haired friend_

 _The blonde guy chuckled "I am not looking at her like that! Besides what does that even mean?!"_

" _It's like you've found religion!" the brown haired friend said making a show of raising his hands up to the roof jokingly_

" _Ha ha Tommy, very funny! C'mon lets…" Oliver said watching her get up excitedly, jumping off the bar stool and start packing up her things, he hadn't realised he had stopped talking at this point_

" _oh no…she's leaving" Tommy grabbed at his chest mocking his friend_

" _Yeah…"he replied feeling a sadness wash over him._

" _Dude! C'mon! You don't even know that chick…unless you do and you've been holding out on me, which obviously means that you cut me deep bro!"_

" _No I don't know her…" Oliver said quietly_

" _Then why so glum" Tommy joked as he turned his head in the direction of a very hot red head that had winked at him_

" _I don't know…" he said as he walked away from Tommy. He was in a trance, he wasn't sure what he was doing, why he walking after her or what he would do if he actually caught up to her. "Would I stop her? Introduce myself? Tell her about this insane feeling, this invisible thread that just pulled me towards her? No it made no sense and she would probably run…far away!" He thought to himself but as he got closer to where she had been, he kept walking and watched as she walked through the glass doors. He saw her pull her hoodie over her head and slip away into a crowd of people outside. She was gone….and he felt empty suddenly. None of this made any sense to him_

" _Oliver! Where are going?! I turn my head for one second and you're out the door! I swear I should put a leash on you" Tommy scolded in a joking manner as he came up behind his best friend_

" _Eerrr i….i just….i thought you walked past me and i was following you" he lied to his friend_

" _Really?! Is that what you're going with? That's the worst lie…and you've had some really bad ones…this one takes the cake though!"_

" _Okay…so I followed her…I have no idea what just came over me…"Oliver confesssed_

" _Oh buddy! You're in so much trouble!" Tommy said shaking his head_

" _Yeah…" he said shaking his head while scratching the back of his neck_

" _C'mon! Let's get to those tables and relieve some of that…whatever is going on with you!" Tommy said determined to help his friend and not drag him anymore. He noticed how frazzled his best friend had been just then and wanted to help him get back to the reason they were there. To have fun and break in their twenties_

" _That sounds like a plan!" Oliver said trying to shake off that feeling._

" _So I was thinking we could start with (hgfjcfajfcgaiunchkljn)" Oliver had zoned out again, looking back over his shoulder once more into the bright afternoon light, he had a feeling that if it was meant to be, it would happen. He would meet this girl again, maybe not today, or tomorrow or this year or the next, but he would. He just knew one thing for sure, that feeling inside him as he watched her sitting at that juice bar and munching on nacho's and peanuts and slurping a smoothie, there was something about her and the feeling he felt was not nothing…it was most certainly something._

Fast forward to present day some many years later and sitting on the living room couch alone with the many vacation pictures resting on the side table next to him, he knew for a fact…she was everything.

It was a proven fact that nothing good ever comes without sacrifices. But just how much did he deserve to sacrifice of himself? (It is after all a thankless job, though as Felicity reminded him; it's not why he does it.) How much longer does this life keep draining him of his light? He knows he has more than earned his happiness. He has made amends with those he wronged and has actively been trying to do the right thing at all times, but sometimes it feels like test upon test upon test, just to see how strong of a person he is. How much can one man take? Why is happiness such a short-lived notion for him? Is there some evil force out there hell bent on destroying Oliver Queen and who he is? Oliver didn't know anymore. He was starting to feel himself fading into the background again. The person he used to be wants…no needs to make an appearance and is trying so hard to break free, but Oliver knows he cannot be that person. Truth is though, that person always yielded results but used questionable methods to do so. But if it means that person is able to put a stop to this hell, then Oliver must try.

Felicity would tell him to find another way. She would support him, be there for him when he needed her the most. She would sense his fear of becoming that person again and she would in turn become HIS person. The one to help him, guide him to be better, to do better. She would be HIS Felicity….but she can't be that for him now because she isn't here. She is gone and the man she left behind is withering away.

One month after it happened and Oliver has no idea how he is still breathing, walking or living without her. When he stops and thinks; nothing makes sense anymore. The void she left behind is so vast, so broad and empty that at times it feels like a vacuum; pulling him in and swallowing him whole.

The past month has yielded no results, killing the man you swore you would kill wasn't as simple as it sounded when said man played with dark magic and healing waters. The man was a virtual ghost. Months trying to stop him and his organisation and the first lead to tracking him down costs Felicity her life.

Looking over at the side table that sat next to the couch, Oliver stared at the bowl of clear marbles. _"Look I found our marbles!"_ Felicity had joked when she pulled it out of one the many boxes the night they moved into Thea's old loft. He smiles under his breath as he recalls slipping the engagement ring into it hoping she wouldn't find it. It was a temporary spot while they sorted out their new home. This was a new life for them…

" _Sooo my guilt for displacing Thea is only slightly out-weighted by how amazing this place is!"_

" _Thea's actually been living with Laurel for the past few months"_

" _huh"_

"… _Ras' stabbed her right over there"_

" _oh"_

" _We can get a rug"_

 _In the background the news report was replaying the broadcast of the Green Arrows declaration to serve and protect the city_

" _You know I'd hate to disappoint you…"_

" _uhmm?"_

" _That speech was prrretty hopeful…"_

" _Why would that disappoint me?_

" _Well, you know how you said that you didn't know how to be a hero without the darkness…_

" _Hmm…"_

" _And I know how you hate to be wrong"_

 _Oliver leans in to kiss his pillar of strength; this amazing woman who wants to be with him and makes him a better man. Oliver has no idea how he got this lucky but he isn't ever going to mess this up. Later in their bedroom_

" _Sooooo"_

" _Mmmm?"_

" _About earlier…in the New Arrow C…"_

" _Don't call it that!"_

" _Okay okay!" she chuckles and the continues "so that "fight" she uses her fingers to clearly indicate what she meant – I have been thinking about it ever since"_

" _Hmmm? What about it?"_

" _Your reaction, I mean Old Oliver, and don't get me wrong I love this side of you, but given that I did lie…"_

" _Okay" Oliver says with a slight laugh "admitting it is the first step" he finishes off eyebrows drawing together feigning seriousness_

 _She swats him "Well I did. But at the time it felt like I was just omitting the truth of where I actually was, but wait! You're trying to distract me!"_

" _I am not doing anything, just pointing out the facts" he says in mock surrender_

" _Ha-ha, then let me finish. So about your reaction, if there is one person who knows you better than anyone…"_

" _I'll give you that; you may know me better than I know myself!"_

" _See! Okay admitting it is the first step" she jokes_

" _Hey!" he chuckles at her tactics and tickles her_

 _She chuckles and wriggles out of his tickles "wait! So new Oliver is different, but there was something else about earlier…you knew I was helping them. Remember now - admitting it is the first step!" she cautions_

 _He laughs "Yeah, wasn't hard to piece it together"_

" _No no you KNEW before…long before – remember now, a handsome guy once told me – admitting it the first step"_

" _Handsome huh?!"_

" _C'mon! Out with it"_

" _Okay okay! Yes, I may have been on an Island for the better part of five years but I knew something was up when you tried to make me believe there was no email in Bali! Really Felicity!?"_

 _Felicity squirmed shyly "Well I mean, I know you're not stupid and I knew you knew something was up…"_

" _Yeah I didn't care much 'coz other things were up too!"_

" _Oliver!"_

" _What?" he chuckles "It didn't bother me really, I guess it made me realise just how much helping people meant to you"_

" _Why didn't you say anything earlier?"_

" _Because I wasn't ready to come back…I wanted as much time away from all this as I could get with you. Figured there would come a day when you crack"_

" _Seriously! You were just gonna wait it out? It could have been bad Oliver! I could have used my loud voice on you!"_

" _Seriously I would have just laughed"_

" _I can be scary you know"_

" _You're just adorable! I could never be angry at you"_

" _Never say never"_

" _I'm willing to take my chances"_

" _Goodluck to you mister! I wouldn't want to be you receiving angry me!"_

" _I'm a big boy Felicity! I could threaten you back with pointy things!"_

" _Oh you wouldn't dare!"_

" _Wouldn't i? Oliver says leaping up hovering over her, eyebrows jumping up and down suggestively with a huge grin across his lips_

" _That's not fair! You know I can't resist that pointy thing!"_

" _Felicity Smoak! You have such a dirty mind!"_

 _She covers her face shyly "It's all your fault, you and your salmon ladder-leather wearing-sweaty hot self"_

 _He laughs "Okay my salmon ladder-leather wearing-sweaty self-apologises for feeding your dirty mind"_

 _She swats him playfully "you forgot HOT"_

" _Hot" he says seductively looking over her body "I was told the first step is admitting it"_

 _She laughs and innocently asks "what's the next step?"_

" _Well let's see" he lower himself more on top of her until they are flush against each other then Oliver slowly says "I love this dirty mind so there's no need to change anything as far as I'm concerned"_

" _You're going to witness a lot of innuendos and Freudian slips – I can hardly control this thing" she says point to her head_

 _He places a soft kiss on her forehead "You mean there's more?!"_

" _Oh you have no idea!" Then seriously says "but please don't let me do it in public okay! I need you to stop me! I can't be CEO of Palmer Tech and a blubbering mess around you!"_

" _I promise" he says and smiles softly_

" _My hero!"_

" _My saviour!"_

" _You're so cheesy!"_

" _Says the one with the dirty mind that controls her"_

" _Hey!" She tickles him_

" _That's not fair" he protests_

" _Neither is using my terrible lack of filter against me!"_

" _Something else is against you and ready to go" he wiggles his eyebrows_

" _Round 2?"_

" _I thought you'd never ask!" he kisses her then pulls back suddenly "Or stop talking!"_

" _Hey!" she giggles and he captures her lips with his and they spend the rest of the night wrapped in each other._

In a dingy part of a new town – some many hundred miles away from Star City thin nimble fingers ghost over the lips of two smiles captured in the photographs in front of her. Within these weathered pages of the once new album are memories. These were their memories, stored inside these pages. It was a time in their life when nothing besides them mattered – had it been short lived? The vacation yes, but their love grew stronger and their bond and understanding of each other deepened. Now here she sits a month later and the once new album (how did it end up in such bad shape - she could swear it feels like just yesterday when she bought it) is now tattered, looking much like how she feels these days. A lack of sleep would also explain why she looks as god awful as she does.

" _Felicity! This is insane!" Oliver roared_

" _I know! And that's probably why it will work" Felicity argued_

" _I'm not doing this" Oliver stated firmly, his arms crossed not planning on backing down_

" _Oliver Jonas Queen. How do you know me?" Felicity said in her slightly louder than normal voice_

" _To be too smart for my own good" Oliver said softly dropping his arms in resignation_

" _Well yes and also for my own good" she says as groans into his chest_

" _Okay (he chuckles) explain please and don't leave out any details. I am not taking any risks when it comes to you" Oliver cautions with a firm voice_

" _Awwww protective Oliver can be so cute and well….overprotective" Felicity jokes_

" _You know why I am this way – i won't apologise for loving you the way that I do….it's actually your fault!" Oliver counters_

" _My fault?!" She laughs then continues "I love you too but it's not forever okay, you have to trust me and trust in my love for you. Just wait till I get…"_

" _Have I told you how much I dislike this plan?" Oliver sighs rubbing his hands over his tired face_

" _Not as much as you love me and my smarts right?" Felicity smiles, all teeth showing knowing how Oliver feels_

" _Felicity!" He raises his voice an inch_

" _Trust me Oliver" she says seriously while resting her hand on his chest_

 _Oliver nods in agreement, biting his bottom lip and readies himself to listen first to the plan._

His smiles are the one constant thing she keeps going back to. "He was happy" His smile is so infectious, God how she misses him. She feels lost, like a soul separated from its body – wondering the earth. With no body to attach itself to, no warmth, no love, no life to sustain it. In a way she should have expected this; planning every single detail of one's death should mean every emotion too. She realises now her strength is what she left behind. He gave her endless strength, believed in her and always kept her safe and without him she feels lost. Like a virtual ghost. Cut off from everything and everyone. This 'death' has been harder to live through than she had anticipated.

Felicity glanced down at her fingers resting over Oliver's lips in the picture in front of her. This picture was taken the night their lives changed forever a little more than a month earlier. It was taken back at their loft as they were getting ready for their date; some much needed alone time. Oliver had become something of a novice at taking selfies ever since their six month long vacation.

 _She stood with her back against his chest, looking into the mirror, in a beautiful dress Oliver had sent her that morning. It was red. It was gorgeous and Felicity wasn't so sure she would do the dress justice until she tried it on and Oliver had dropped his glass of water while staring at her in awe. He had come up behind her as she looked herself over and he wrapped his arms around her waist pressing a kiss into her neck "You make that dress – you're beautiful Felicity". She remembers how those words made her feel alive in that moment; he always knew just what to say. At that point they stood there for a while and Oliver didn't want to let go, who is she kidding, neither did she; so she cracked a joke about taking a picture because it lasts longer and the next second Oliver had his mobile camera set to selfie mode. He stretched his right arm out as far as he could to get enough dress in the frame and then turned his face to hers; eyes meeting eyes still standing behind her holding her waist with the other arm and Felicity had rested her left hand and arm across his mirroring his pose. They smiled at each other in that moment – both of them locking their fingers together unconsciously. The look on his face melts her every time. She truly loves this man and would do anything for him….even disappear and fake her own death. It's not the craziest thing she's ever done but then again can one really compare crazy?!_

" _Oliver?_

" _Felicity?"_

" _You've been driving us around for a long time now, I could just punch the GPS co-ordinates into my phone; you can admit that we're lost"_

" _We're not lost"_

" _So where are we going? This doesn't fall on my worst date's list, but it certainly is strange!_

" _Uhmm? What?"_

" _Exactly, you're driving us in circles, you're super quiet and you're not even listening to anything I actually say! What is going on with you?_

" _Oh, it's nothing Felicity…I'm not lost and we're not driving in circles, I'm just wait…"_

" _Wait? Waiting for what?"_

" _You'll see, it's a surprise"_

" _Yeah…well I'm just really glad to be out with YOU in this neighbourhood, what with your amazing arrowing skills and all" she said smirking_

" _I hope those aren't the only skills of mine you find amazing"_

" _Oh now you're listening!?" she says smacking his shoulder_

" _Hey!" he flinches with a slight giggle_

 _Suddenly Oliver's phone rang and Felicity picked it up, putting it on speaker_

" _John, is everything okay?"_

" _Oh hey Felii-iciiityyyy"_

" _Hey John?" She responded with an uptick of her one eyebrow – that was weird_

" _Everything is good, it's great actually"_

" _Well that's a relief, soooo you called?"_

" _Oh. Yeah. That, uhmmmm you know what I completely forgot you two lovebirds were on a date, it's nothing we can't handle"_

" _Are you sure John" Oliver asked_

" _Yes. Oliver, everything is sorted" John said making a point of stressing 'everything'_

" _Okay, thanks!" Oliver said hurriedly_

" _Okay bye" John said in an equal rush_

" _Well that wasn't weird at all" Felicity said flatly with a tinge of curiosity lining the edges of her words._

" _What?" Oliver asked seeming completely unaware of the strangeness or trying really hard to act that way._

" _That call…your voice…Johns voice…"Felicity said slowly then as if a light bulb went off, she shrieked "You're planning something mister!"_

" _No, don't read too much into that, John said he forgot we were on a date sooo" he said casually_

" _So John doesn't just forget Oliver! I know something is up" she said with laser like focus on Oliver's straight face_

" _Oh do you now?" Oliver mocked with a grin on his lips meaning the play of words that she was still was still to register_

" _Yes" she said with an eyebrow raised_

" _Oh look! We're here…ah ah ah – blindfolding first" he said as he had parked the car. "Close those eyes please"_

" _Do I have too?" she asked and pouts at him, eyes closed anyway_

" _Yes or it won't be a surprise"_

 _No sooner than she put the fold over her eyes, strong muscular arms picked her up out of the passenger side of the car_

" _Oh my word Oliver! I can walk!"_

" _Yes I know, but I feel safer carrying you"_

" _Oooor…" she stressed the word as her index finger on the hand not currently around Oliver's shoulder popped up in front of his face "you don't want me recognising where we are!" she said in that smarty pants sort of way_

" _Felicity…" Oliver cautioned, trying his best to keep calm_

" _Okay, Okay. I'll stop…but you know my love hate-relationship with solving mysteries, so really this is all on you"_

" _Alright" he sighed with a smile and slight shake of his head and then continued "now pipe down and enjoy the ride hon"_

" _Alright" and she snuggled closer tucking her head in the curve of his neck and shoulder and allowing her ridiculously strong boyfriend to carry her to where ever he wanted._

 _The club had gone through so many shut-downs and re-opens over the years since Oliver had come back, not to mention ownership, but this time it would not be revived. They hadn't been back there since the night Roy had 'died' and even though the team had moved everything to the new lair; this was a place he always used to think of as home. Oliver had realised over the course of his time back and the friendships he had made that home was not a place for him. Home was her. So why bring her here you ask. It just felt like the right place – it held meaning and memories, even though a lot were bad ones, there were many happier ones too._

 _Oliver set Felicity down carefully; the heels of her shoes coming to rest evenly and firmly on the ground._

" _Okay, I'm taking the blindfold off" he thoughtfully let her know but in the same moment she said "no need" as she ripped it off her head. A loud gasp left her lungs and Felicity's right hand immediately came up to her chest. The sight before her took her breath away, literally._

" _Oliver…" she managed to croak out, her voice shaky as tears started blurring her vision_

" _Yeah, you like?" the question was a genuinely concerned one_

" _I love! It's beautiful!" she said taking in the way the foundry was transformed_

 _In the centre was a table set for two. The place setting was shades of gold and red… the area that used to be in front of Felicity's workstation was curtained up, soft folds of white material created fake walls; a smaller room within the large ugly foundry._

" _What is this Oliver? What's going on? The last time you went all out like this was the night Thea and L…" Oliver had cut her ramble off with a deep kiss, savouring each and every subsequent lip pull and tongue touch, careful not to take it too far. It was always the hardest thing about kissing her, he loved it and wanted more and it always turned heated which always ended with them naked in bed. This time though, he wanted soft, he wanted to make her toes curl, he wanted to kiss the air out of her, he wanted to make her weak in the knees and leave her aching for more. He certainly knew he would be done for, even with soft sensual kisses like this._

 _Pulling apart he said "You talk too much" with a grin plastered across his face_

" _And that's your solution to that problem?" she chuckled_

" _Yeah" he said as he shrugged his shoulders_

" _Okay! Personally I love it! I could kiss you all night and all day but then I think our lips may get swollen and that's not…" he kisses her again, this time shorter, there is purpose to this one "ssshhhhh" he tells her "It's my turn to talk…a lot"_

" _huh!" she mocks him knowing he isn't the type "oh seriously?" she asks as her demeanour changes_

 _He nods and takes her hands in his and suddenly as if on queue, soft slow music starts to play in the background_

" _Where did that…" and Oliver puts his fingers on her lips "go with it" and she nods and talks from behind his fingers "that didn't last long" she mocked as her eyes crisscrossed downwards in the direction of his finger and that's when he removed his finger._

" _Felicity" he softly warned as he readied himself to do this now. Felicity put her hands up to surrender_

 _Oliver clears his throat and inhales a deep breathe "It's now or never Queen!" he internally says_

" _I know there is a lot going on in our lives, not just now, but it seems to follow us…well me more than you actually"_

 _She gasps at his sentence structure "Frack! I'm clearly rubbing off on him" she thinks with an endearing smile on her lips. She lets him talk because she can see…no she can sense it, this was big._

" _And that's why I'm done waiting for the right moment. I want to love you and show you that in a way that our lives don't always lend to. Every minute of every day is just another wasted opportunity. I just don't want to waste any more minutes or days or weeks. I want to love you in a way I never thought I would want. You made me want things I never thought I would want or could even have. From the moment I met you, to every moment after; I was always drawn to you – like a moth to a flame. When I started this crusade I was alone until I wasn't. There was John and YOU…and this place here, it started feeling like home…but there were times when you weren't here and I knew, in that part of me that I was hiding, that it only felt like home because of you…but back then it wasn't the right time…I wasn't in the right space until I was. Until I let myself love you and now I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with you…I think I always was…I always thought of this place as home – a place that existed for the three of us. I have always considered you and John my family and this place our home even though we have moved to the new lair. I've come to understand more deeply now - You are my home, not this place. I want to be with you, by your side, no matter where we find ourselves, I want to come home to you because you are everything to me." he says bending down on one knee, the ring inside the box open on display in one hand._

" _Felicity Smoak, will you marry me? Will you allow me to spend the rest my life with you, loving you and only you?"_

 _Felicity couldn't breathe at that point. Her words and her body were frozen. Her eyes were so full of tears and blurry as a result that she wasn't 100 % sure if she still had her contacts in any more. Suddenly a surge of energy swept over her body and Felicity pulled Oliver up with all her strength and collided against his body. She kissed him with every yes she couldn't say and every ounce of love she wanted him to feel. Yes yes yes and 1000 times yes!_

 _When they slowed the kiss to a reluctant halt, their foreheads touching, their lips a hairs breadth apart, they smiled so big and so long, forgetting everything else around them. It was just the two of them and they held on so tight, not out of fear of letting go of each other, but out of a love so deep that each touch and tingle sent their hearts soaring into the sky._

 _Oliver had been the one to pull back slightly, pushing her hair away from her face and wiping her tears that kept running. "I'll take that as a Yes" he smiles and she gasps in horror that the one time she would have loved her mouth to spew her thoughts, it didn't and she basically left him hanging._

" _I thought I could depend on you; 'brain-to-mouth filter'! This was not the time to be slacking"_

 _Oliver laughs aloud and kisses her forehead "Go easy on her, she had quite the surprise sprung on her"_

" _And then some! Yes Oliver a thousand times YES! I love you so much!"_

" _I love you too Felicity" and they seal their future with a deep passionate kiss, the kind that the Greek gods would be too shy to watch! Felicity pushed Oliver against the closest pillar in the old foundry "where is this strength coming from" he chuckles into her lips. His hands found the skin on her back. "You give me strength" he hears in his ear as he runs his hands slowly up her spine and then down the length of it again, softly caressing the heightened swell of her ass and then running his hands down the length of the thigh she had hitched up around his one side. Their bodies pressed against each other and against the pillar, pushing into each other with a slow hard grind. It was never the plan to do this here but plans change and it felt right. In the middle of undressing and falling to the floor they both confessed to each other the amount of times they both wanted to do this over the three years and they broke into fits of giggles and continued to make love right there in a place that both their minds had once called home thinking it was about the place, it must be the place, now realising it was their hearts; together their hearts are their home._

 _After their love making session, they laid curled up around each other, neither minding the scrunched up feel of one of the curtain sheets that didn't last against their pillar grind session or how cold and hard the concrete under their bodies felt but both knowing that they would hurt the next day. Oliver reached over to the ring box that got lost in the heat and opened it for Felicity to look at_

" _It's beautiful Oliver"_

" _It was my mother's" he said shyly_

" _Oh" was the only thing that left her lips as her eyes focuses on the huge diamond ring in front of her._

" _I…if u don't want it, I can get…"_

" _No! Oliver, I love it, it's beautiful. I'm just not sure if your mother would approve of my wearing her ring"_

" _Well my mother isn't here and I think by now she would have loved you as much as I do…besides, this is a Queen family heirloom; passed down to the first son's bride-to-be. But I was serious, if you want another?_

" _No, I'd be honoured to wear it Mr Queen…it was just my mother and I for so long…having something like this, being part of a family tradition…that will be new for me" she confessed shyly_

" _The honour is mine future Mrs Queen" he said slipping the ring on her finger. A perfect fit._

" _I'm hungry! Are you?" Oliver declared as he watched her stare at the ring on her finger for a few minutes. His declaration brought her out of her thoughts_

" _I'm starving! All that strength I worked up quickly evaporated!"_

" _Come, let's sit" he said as he pulled up his pants and was about to put on his shirt when Felicity got up and sway her hips covered thinly in just the curtain and pressed up against him "Leave it" she said seductively and Oliver complied_

 _She sat down with the curtain wrapped around her, her shoulders bare and Oliver didn't realise just how seductive that would look at the eating table._

" _You're going to be the death of me!" he said flustered_

" _Same Queen, Same" she said running her eyes over his shirtless body with a grin then mumbled to herself "multiple times shirtless" and Oliver had the widest smile covering his face as he shook off her cuteness and the memory of their first date._

 _They spent some time eating and talking and holding hands across the table. It had been a spectacular evening and thankfully it hadn't been ruined at all! "The nights still young Queen" he thought to himself as he tapped the wood of the table for good measure._

" _Oliver…" Felicity said seriously_

" _Yeah"_

" _I think it's time..…" Felicity said as she stared at the ring on her finger. She had been contemplating this thought for a while now and didn't know how to bring it up with him. Oliver's face fell, his heart started racing and his mind screamed the words he couldn't say just yet._

Leaving was never an option for either of them from the moment they had given themselves over to each other. This was it for them both. Felicity had grown up with abandonment issues and for so long she had relied on herself, made sure to not ever be that girl who was so dependent on one man that if he left her she would break. Now she did the leaving and it was breaking her, though not in the same way that her mother was broken. This was different. This was a separation more than a break-up and it wouldn't last forever. This was the sort of broken that she had every intention of fixing. The funny thing is that it was all her plan. Disappearing was her plan. Faking her death was her plan. If the evil super villain didn't have her as leverage over Oliver then she could plan his destruction without him ever seeing it coming. At least that was how she sold it to Oliver. It's only been a month but it feels like forever. Her body doesn't feel like her own anymore. She is walking around with a hole in a heart the size of Everest. She needs to see him. They had said no contact – it was part of the plan. Right now she knew she couldn't do this for much longer if she didn't just see him once, kiss him once more and hold him in her arms one more time. She didn't know how much longer this would go on for, she had been collecting a plethora of data on Darhk but there was no telling of when it would all be over. Just once, after that she could go on again.

Oliver had been out in the field one night. His focus was laser like; his timing spot on. His reflexes were on guard at all times. He didn't have Felicity in his ear anymore and it's been a literal hell so Oliver did what Oliver used to do, what he does best. He shut New Oliver away, he isn't gone, but this person, this Old Oliver; he was needed if this damned nightmare was to ever end. John had been warning him that if he kept it up he would not come back from this as easily as he believes.

" _Man what if you do something you can't come back from?" John asked him earlier trying to stop him from going out_

" _It's too late for that Dig, there is no point in worrying about my actions. Its Darhk we must concentrate on and what he will keep doing if we don't stop him." Oliver stated, his anger growing every second. He was dressed and ready to hit the streets._

" _Felicity wouldn't want this. She would never have done what she done if she didn't think you had in you to stop Darhk without the darkness. She is still with us." John said reminding him. Oliver's shoulders sagged a little in response and he bent his head toward the floor._

" _I know John….i know…but without becoming that person I was, I don't see how we can effectively get rid of this guy. The darkness does one thing for me; it makes me focus on my target which makes execution faster and simpler. I need this to be over now John. I need her back. I need her back…." Oliver confesses softly_

" _I get that man…I was on the receiving end of your jump into darkness remember…what I'm saying is there must an easier way to go about being both light and dark when fighting this man. I know Felicity said zero contact. I know there are risks…but you need to remind yourself of what we're doing here and the darkness isn't allowed here, not again. I won't watch you go down that path again." John warned him_

" _Zero contact is the best way to keep her safe. I don't know what would become of me if something were to happen to her John….I just know the one way that is most effective in ensuring her safety…" Oliver said while a cold shiver ran down his spine as he made his way out of the lair and into the cold of the dark night. His intentions clear, his motivations just. Well to him anyway._

Oliver's mobile phone started vibrating in his pocket. He was about to kill one of Damien's men for intel. He had the man strung up upside down, an arrow in his leg and shoulder. The man was bleeding out fast and Oliver was at is last straw. One month had felt more like forever for him. He thought he could do this, he thought it would be okay. He thought his new self would be enough to get him through, that carrying her picture in his pocket at all times would get him through all the tough times. But all it did was serve to remind him of the mess they found themselves in and it just made him angry.

A coded message appeared on his screen. Co-ordinates with simple line of text "Come alone"

Oliver thought it was Darhk. He cut the man down and walked away as he heard the sharp cries and loud thud that the man gave out as he fell to the ground.

"John! Call a medic" he said then after a short pause he said "I'm going dark" and with that he switched off comm's and tracking devices. He was going to end this. Magic or anything else, in his state, HE was all he needed.

Oliver got on his motorcycle and made his way to the co-ordinates on his screen. He was three blocks away when the whole city plunged into darkness. Oliver slowed down his bike, the light from his bike shining the way. He rounded the corner and looked around at the hurried footsteps and screams of looting civilians running around the place. It was fast becoming chaotic. This needed to end before the people of the city turn on each other and kill the city, or themselves.

Oliver scanned the area. From the landmarks around it looked like 6th street in Glades. Oliver noticed a lone figure standing under the street lamp on the other corner. He approached the figure cautiously. This was a lot of trouble on Darhk's side that's for sure.

As Oliver walked slowly up to the figure he noticed the size of the person was small and their stance was familiar. The person was dressed in a black baggy jeans and big top with the hoodie drawn up over their head. He stopped about 2 meters away and his heart started racing uncontrollably. Could it really be?! He didn't want to get his hopes up; that would be dangerous….meeting like this is dangerous. With a determined walk he quickly approached the person coming up behind the person, Oliver had felt that familiar connection as strong as ever. With an audible gasp he knew it was her.

Oliver quickened his pace and scooped her up into his arms, buried his face in her neck and just held her; breathing her in and calming himself down

"What are you doing here?" Oliver's voice was soft but lined with an edgy panic. He could feel his body calming down, his heart easing up on its attack on his ribs but Oliver was always cautious and he always had reason to be

"I needed to see you" She said softly feeling a sense of calm and ease wash over her body, from her toes to her head.

But this is dangerous! If Darhk finds….wait was this you? (referring to the darkness the city was currently in)

She nods "I….i just…." She stumbled as they pulled apart. Oliver stepped back just a little, he didn't realised they could be watching from somewhere….anywhere.

"Oliver…." She says feeling his distance and just like that Oliver closes the distance between them quickly but stops short as he immediately notices the darker makeup around her eyes and lips and the lack of her signature Felicity Smoak eyewear. Felicity watches him look her over and then sees his lips part in a beautiful smile. The one she's missed so much. He captures her lips on his and pours every feeling he has into it; the loneliness, the desperateness, the eagerness but most of all the LOVE. She feels it and reciprocates it. When they finally part, they don't move further than an inch, lips still ghosting over lips and foreheads and noses still touching.

"I miss you so much"

"Same here Smoak, same" he says with that glorious smile.

Oliver reaches his hand inside his sweater and pulls out a chain. On it hung her engagement ring. He is about to take it off himself and give it to her, it belongs to her because he belongs to her but Felicity quickly puts distance between them shaking her head and repositioning the hood. She wipes the tears that have fallen "No…not here, not like this" she says and holds her own hands in themselves to stop them from shaking. She pulls her mobile phone out of her hoodie and then bites on her lips and taps on the screen. The lights in the city start back up block for block and before they could reach them she starts to walk backwards away from him. Oliver steps towards her but she waves him off. No. Just one more minute, he needs it, so does she, but she turns her back and nearly rounds the corner into a dark alley not before she turns her head back to him. Oliver's mobile vibrates in his pocket and he sees a blocked number calling. She motions to her mobile for him to pick up and when he does Felicity smiles her beautiful smile that he loves so much and simply whispers:

"Wait for me to come home…I love you" and the line goes dead before Oliver could respond.

As he stands there in the now lit street staring at nothing, he feels enough warmth flow through him that will last for the next month, hopefully. But for now, John was right, she found another way like she always does and it helps him immensely going forward. He would make this right. He would bring her back. She belongs in the light with him, not in the shadows; not alone. He would make this right. His new resolve was his old resolve but now he knew no matter what that when he feels down during this fight, she will be there, she will always be there for him. Oliver just needs to stop Damien Darhk not as the person he used to be but as the Oliver Queen he is now and he will do it because Felicity Smoak is his purpose; she is his everything. He will fight for her; he will fight for his happy ending.

Oliver Queen didn't ever think he would be fated for a happily ever after or even the soul mate thing. No there was a time in his life he would have laughed so hard and then called any number in his little black book and forgotten about the notion entirely within minutes. Of course that was until 3 chance encounters at different times his life spelt a different tale to Oliver and now he believes more than anything else in this world that Felicity Smoak is his soul mate; they were destined to be. He remembers the moment it all became so clear. The moment the rebel Ollie who used to do the opposite of what he was told or expected to do just because he didn't appreciate being told what to do. The moment Ollie had a wakeup call was the moment he had walked into Verdant after the city had plunged into darkness last year. It was the moment he believed in destiny. He knew she would be there, he would be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat at the thought or sight of her, but this moment when he walked into his former club and caught sight of a very familiar face, it had hit like a bolt of lightning! This was the woman, older yes, but the same woman from the bar that day; all those many years ago when he and Tommy had flown out to spend a guy's weekend in Vegas….

"Mom" he mouthed with a stupid grin plastered on his face as he looked slightly stunned at Felicity. The way he was smiling was even stranger to him than anyone else in the room. _"It was her!"_ This was the older blonde woman and that means Felicity was the young dark hair girl and that means that that feeling he gets around her – that something about her that draws him to her, draws him to smile and feel and laugh and love was always for her. That was the first time he had laid eyes on Felicity Smoak and now it made sense – to feel what he felt around her, he knew of two times which he thought hardly meant anything, but three meant so much more. She was the same girl in his dad's office when he was brought back to Starling on a mission for Amanda Waller – that was actually the second time he had laid eyes on an older Felicity Smoak; the one who spoke to herself and called him 'cute'. She evoked that same feeling and the smile and happiness in his heart in that moment felt like a tidal wave! The third time he had sought her out, he had remembered the feeling she invoked in him from two years prior. He remembers walking into her cubicle and being literally bathed in warmth. His pulse raced at the sight of her beauty.

Now he believed in the notion of soul mates – destined to be together – to find one another. Always. And he will make this right. He will bring her back to him because now it's so much more than a sighting or a passing glance from the shadows or lies and bullet ridden laptops. It's bigger than both of them, it's everything. She is everything to him.

Comaupcakes

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P.S. I am sorry about my other fic (The Serendipity In Olicity) that seems to be standing still. Promise to get back to it soon


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